At first, a sense of dread,
the thought of it
the memories of the last time,
and the time before.
So selfish ME ME ME
His needs and wants dominate.
Then I remember "He is MY Father"
I remember how much he sacrificed for me ( and never ever mentioned it)
so that I could have my good life.
I look forward to his visit now,
I see him at the airport,
older looking now ,from his illness this year.
Does he notice how I look,does he know I was ill, still am ill?
he comes he demands,he looks old sometimes
he gets so angry at life
people ,politicians, actors, TV DVDs
No music , no theatre, no poetry,
not even cinema! "the pictures"
Life has to be his way,it is what he needs to do .
My needs disappear when he is around. I feel angry, hurt, sad
I want to tell him how it is for me,but I don't
he is just trying to survive.
And when he leaves.
My heart is broken.
Thursday, 20 June 2013
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